well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
As shirtless as possible
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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