Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize