my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
last night I used snow as a chaser
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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