i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize