The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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