chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
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Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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