if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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