He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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