she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Also, beer. Big fan.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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