Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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