Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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