all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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