The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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