One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
how drunk are you?
Several
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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