It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
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Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Text me some of your sweat
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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