i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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