You're my little dorito
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize