You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize