yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Farmville is her only friend.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize