Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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