my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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