I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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