Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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