The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
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