I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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