We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
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