i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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