I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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