Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
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I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
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I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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