So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
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Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
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Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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