does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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