Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize