You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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