yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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