Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize