We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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