I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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