dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize