I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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