I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize