i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize