We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
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Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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