i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
3pm strippers are depressing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Randomize