Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sorry about my life...
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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