it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
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We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize