Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize