Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize