Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
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I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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