youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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