If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
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You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
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My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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